My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee

Members of the LDS church--the messengers of the gospel of Jesus Christ--are often accused on not being followers of Christ. My heart burns when I read scriptures like 2 Nephi 25:26 ("And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ"), and think about those who don't understand our pure intentions and goals.

Last summer I spent a lot of time alone. Often when I'm alone I sing whatever song has been running through my head.  The song of the week was "I'm Trying to be Like Jesus." When I got to "I'm trying to love my neighbor, I'm learning to serve my friends" the words hit me like they never had before. Heavenly Father and His son, Jesus Christ, love each of us no matter what we've done, and we are trying to follow that example. The commandment is not Thou shalt love thy neighbor unless they are annoying, or unless they smell bad, or unless they've offended us. We're asked to love our neighbors regardless of any of that. 

I often think back to a time near the end of high school. I had the opportunity to have a conversation with one of my favorite people. He had made a few stupid mistakes regarding the emotions of some of my other friends, and felt really bad about it. These other friends were and are still heavily involved in a good christian church, yet could not find it within themselves to forgive him. I didn't understand how they could claim to be such steadfast followers of Christ if they refused to follow in the footsteps of the master forgiver. He atoned to save even those who had killed him, for cryin' out loud! I made a mental note to make sure that I remembered to forgive people.

My soul aches when the prophet Joseph pleads, "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?" Often we, or people we love, ask where God is hiding in times of trial. However, He promises us numerous times that he will never leave us. One of the most eloquent of these promises is Isaiah 54:10. He says, "For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee." It is my goal to echo that sentiment. In my efforts to be Christlike, I want my friends, neighbors, and associates to know that whatever they've done, my kindness shall not be removed from them. These words coming from my mouth cannot have the same level of comfort as when it comes from Heavenly Father or Christ, but I believe people will be blessed and I will become the nicest me I am capable of being. I figure, I make mistakes, so who am I not to forgive? Often I hear people say that if somebody is mean to you, it's acceptable to return the favor. However, I know that when I get angsty is when I need the most kindness. Part of a poem President Monson shared in conference two years ago is "But I never have yet felt a tinge of regret for being a little too kind." You can seldom go wrong by doing a genuinely kind deed, and sincere compliments always brighten one's day.

A brief side note/reminder--If we do everything Heavenly Father asks us to do, then everything works out for our good. That doesn't mean it works out to our immediate desire, however. Matthew 4:1 states, "Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil." I'm sure being tempted of the Devil must've been a pleasant experience, eh? But, really, we are lead wherever we need to be to become the best people we are capable of becoming.

And remember, "Peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment." And no matter what "If You Could Hie to Kolob" would have you believe, there is an end; this too shall pass ;) "And then, if thou endure it well. God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes" (D&C 121:7-8).  This I believe with all my head and heart. The proof is all around.

And I love this vid. And I hope the three people who read this will also :)

One More Year :)

I turned 20 fairly recently. A few years back I worked with a guy who described to me what it was like to turn 20. He placed a red plastic cup on the counter, took a step back, and reached for the cup. He couldn't quite grasp it but he was almost there.
My red cup is a mission. I would very much like to go. I'd leave tomorrow if I could. Both of my siblings have been great examples to me by serving full-time missions

 

David at the MTC

Jen entering the MTC May '09

Jennifer left in May '08 to the Toronto East mission, while David left in September of the same year to the Manchester, New Hampshire mission. Neither of them would exchange their experience for anything in the world. However, people are often surprised when I express the desire to go on a mission. I've even heard it said that going on missions ruins females. The more I think about it, the better it sounds for my personal situation. In case anybody wants to know, these are the reasons I want to go on a mission

• My biggest fears are social. I've learned that the basis of almost all my social interactions is that I don't want to be disliked and I fear upsetting people. Consequently I often miss opportunities to encourage, educate, and even uplift others. Hopefully mission experiences would help me develop the boldness required to apply the needed pressure to encourage others toward righteousness (and thus happiness) in the right situations, and give me more opportunities to go out of my comfort zone to uplift others.
• I'd like to develop personal motivation skills--such as weekly planning, and personal accountability--that will enable me to become a more effective person. A mission would be a prime setting to accomplish this goal.
• I'm trying hard to develop the ability to receive and follow personal revelation. I can't imagine that going on a mission would not help with that.
• I've been undeserving of any guy that I've liked since coming to BYU and I want to be worthy of somebody that great in the future. I want to become better acquainted with the spirit, the Book of Mormon, the Bible, and taking initiative. I want to have the same type of internal growth spurt that they had (heck, I wouldn't mind the external growth spurt either. I seem to have missed the 'when I have grown a foot or two part :P) 
• I may have the opportunity to learn another language. I want to know another language, but learning languages seems to be extremely difficult for me. Extra aid from the spirit and with pure love as my motivation no language stands a chance, despite my shortcomings.
• I want to learn how to love more fully and learn how to be a good friend. I've never really been a good friend, and don't really know how to. I've seen missionaries fall in love with the people they teach and truly become great friends with them, and I hope to develop that same kind of love. (1 John 4:18 takes this back to the first point :) )
• I want to see the Lord's hand in my life. I can see some of His actions in my life now, but missions (so I've been told) often hold the highest and lowest points of one's young life. It is in these times when we really begin to see that the Lord truly loves us and those around us.
• It is the right, responsibility, and privilege of the tribe of Ephraim to spread the good news of the restored and refined truth throughout the world. I would very much like to claim this right and seize this responsibility to the best of my ability. 
• This is how I'll truly show my love for Heavenly Father. It's easy enough to say that we love Him, but it is our actions that validate what we say, eh?
• The gospel is true, the atonement is real, and it is by love that we strive to live. Never have I known anything to be so true. I want to be a declarer of truth and bring others unto this knowledge.
• I want others to have the same peace, joy, and happiness that I find in the gospel, and would love to help them receive it.
• The best way I can think to show my gratitude for those missionaries who taught my mom and who taught my dad's ancestors is to go on a mission myself. I have the opportunity to affect generations in a positive manner, and I wouldn't want to miss that.

In summary, the action of love precedes the feelings of love. Going on a mission demonstrates my appreciation and love for my Heavenly Father and Savior. By this action I know that I can more fully come to love them. To quote "Charly" (the musical based on the Jack Weyland novel) "If I serve him every moment that I live, with all the love I have to give, still I would be in debt forever." Despite the eternal nature of this debt, this would be a great payment.

Jen and I a few days after she got home

First time with David in 2 years

My life goal is to become the absolute best person I can be, and going on a mission would provide some great opportunities to develop my overall character. This is what I look forward to. Maybe my ideas about the experience are wrong, but I don't believe so. I realize that I will have to work hard to become every thing that Heavenly Father and I want me to be. Maybe the Lord has plans for me that don't include a mission, but I figure that active mission preparation is good preparation for anything in life. Life is a beautiful adventure in any case, and I am tremendously excited learn and grow in whatever way I am supposed to and desire to be prepared for what ever comes my way.

Here are some of my favorite missionaries! 

Elder Hall (Guadalajara, Mexico) and Sister Sturgess (Madrid, Spain)

Elder Frogget (Berlin, Germany)

Elder Loughmiller (Salta, Argentina)

Sister Frogget (Temple Square)

Elder Hales (Vera Cruz, Mexico)

Elder Colegrove (Mexico City Northwest, Mexico)

Elder Johnson (on the right--Madrid, Spain)

Elder Conover (London South, England)

Elders Santa and Weston (San Salvador, El Salvador and San Bernadino, California)

Elder Bowen (Fort Lauderdale, Florida)

Life is like a soccer game

One part of my effort to be insanely productive this term is reading inspiring literature. I picked up Tuesdays with Morrie yesterday, and so far it's been one of those books that makes me say to myself, I think I'm changing in a good way while I'm reading! Such thoughts, or so I thought, would make a decent kickoff to what might be a lifetime of blogging; after all, synthesizing thoughts into coherency helps solidify them, which is a good thing to do with good thoughts, I s'pose.
For those of you who don't know anything about the book (and actually read this blog), it's about an old man wasting away because of Lou Gehrig's Disease (ALS) who imparts his knowledge, stemming from his unique perspective, to a former student of his.
Naturally this is would be very thought provoking--what is it that matters at the end of life anyway? So here are just a few of my thoughts.

• I would be eternally unsatisfied if I have energy at the end of my life. It would be like playing an entire soccer game without being exhausted: it would mean that hadn't worked hard enough--that I hadn't reached my full potential in any sense of the phrase.
•  Sometimes life sucks, but there is always much more to be grateful for than to complain about. Remember that we are not really entitled to anything and thus most things are truly blessings! and don't complain about blessings when they're removed. Who are we to decide if they are temporary or not?
• There is not enough time to hold back, so don't fear and push forward. As President Hinckley's father said to him "Be not afraid, only believe." Bad things happen--rejection, failures, and mess-ups--but the success (and there will be many) far outweigh the regret if chances aren't taken. This is probably the concept that I have the biggest problem with,but I have promised myself that I will overcome fear someday, have taken significant steps in that direction, and will continue to until I die, or until I truly conquer it.
• "Love is the only rational act" True, pure love is the greatest motivation, yet so many of us seem resistant, myself included. "We think we don't deserve love, we think if we let it in we'll become too soft." I think it would be to the benefit of all to learn to be loved and give love, and simply make it more engrained within our existence as a whole.

 I've discovered recently that I don't have the capacity, or maybe English doesn't have the capacity, to express the fullness of exactly what I'm thinking, but this will have to suffice for now. My goal after reading this book, and after every positive experience is to change. I never want to be inspired and remain the same. Let's (yes, everybody) let ourselves be changed for the better. Through love, constant focus on what is truly important, and personal strength, let's cast away comfort zones and uncertainty and embrace confidence in positive actions to become the best people we can possibly be.

I have a blog

I now have a blog. Some day I might even post on it :)