Once Upon A Wander: September 2011

I turned 20 fairly recently. A few years back I worked with a guy who described to me what it was like to turn 20. He placed a red plastic cup on the counter, took a step back, and reached for the cup. He couldn't quite grasp it but he was almost there.
My red cup is a mission. I would very much like to go. I'd leave tomorrow if I could. Both of my siblings have been great examples to me by serving full-time missions

David at the MTC


Jen entering the MTC May '09

Jennifer left in May '08 to the Toronto East mission, while David left in September of the same year to the Manchester, New Hampshire mission. Neither of them would exchange their experience for anything in the world. However, people are often surprised when I express the desire to go on a mission. I've even heard it said that going on missions ruins females. The more I think about it, the better it sounds for my personal situation. In case anybody wants to know, these are the reasons I want to go on a mission

My biggest fears are social. I've learned that the basis of almost all my social interactions is that I don't want to be disliked and I fear upsetting people. Consequently I often miss opportunities to encourage, educate, and even uplift others. Hopefully mission experiences would help me develop the boldness required to apply the needed pressure to encourage others toward righteousness (and thus happiness) in the right situations, and give me more opportunities to go out of my comfort zone to uplift others.
I'd like to develop personal motivation skills--such as weekly planning, and personal accountability--that will enable me to become a more effective person. A mission would be a prime setting to accomplish this goal.
I'm trying hard to develop the ability to receive and follow personal revelation. I can't imagine that going on a mission would not help with that.
I've been undeserving of any guy that I've liked since coming to BYU and I want to be worthy of somebody that great in the future. I want to become better acquainted with the spirit, the Book of Mormon, the Bible, and taking initiative. I want to have the same type of internal growth spurt that they had (heck, I wouldn't mind the external growth spurt either. I seem to have missed the 'when I have grown a foot or two part :P)
I may have the opportunity to learn another language. I want to know another language, but learning languages seems to be extremely difficult for me. Extra aid from the spirit and with pure love as my motivation no language stands a chance, despite my shortcomings.
I want to learn how to love more fully and learn how to be a good friend. I've never really been a good friend, and don't really know how to. I've seen missionaries fall in love with the people they teach and truly become great friends with them, and I hope to develop that same kind of love. (1 John 4:18 takes this back to the first point :) )
I want to see the Lord's hand in my life. I can see some of His actions in my life now, but missions (so I've been told) often hold the highest and lowest points of one's young life. It is in these times when we really begin to see that the Lord truly loves us and those around us.
It is the right, responsibility, and privilege of the tribe of Ephraim to spread the good news of the restored and refined truth throughout the world. I would very much like to claim this right and seize this responsibility to the best of my ability.
This is how I'll truly show my love for Heavenly Father. It's easy enough to say that we love Him, but it is our actions that validate what we say, eh?
The gospel is true, the atonement is real, and it is by love that we strive to live. Never have I known anything to be so true. I want to be a declarer of truth and bring others unto this knowledge.
I want others to have the same peace, joy, and happiness that I find in the gospel, and would love to help them receive it.
The best way I can think to show my gratitude for those missionaries who taught my mom and who taught my dad's ancestors is to go on a mission myself. I have the opportunity to affect generations in a positive manner, and I wouldn't want to miss that.

In summary, the action of love precedes the feelings of love. Going on a mission demonstrates my appreciation and love for my Heavenly Father and Savior. By this action I know that I can more fully come to love them. To quote "Charly" (the musical based on the Jack Weyland novel) "If I serve him every moment that I live, with all the love I have to give, still I would be in debt forever." Despite the eternal nature of this debt, this would be a great payment.

Jen and I a few days after she got home

First time with David in 2 years

My life goal is to become the absolute best person I can be, and going on a mission would provide some great opportunities to develop my overall character. This is what I look forward to. Maybe my ideas about the experience are wrong, but I don't believe so. I realize that I will have to work hard to become every thing that Heavenly Father and I want me to be. Maybe the Lord has plans for me that don't include a mission, but I figure that active mission preparation is good preparation for anything in life. Life is a beautiful adventure in any case, and I am tremendously excited learn and grow in whatever way I am supposed to and desire to be prepared for what ever comes my way.

Here are some of my favorite missionaries!